The amount of time we spend with someone has no link to how well we know them. While we can get a sense of someone’s behaviour and habits, knowing their core being is incredibly challenging.
You won’t be able to really judge your relationship unless you start living together and become “a couple.”
Every emotion you experience as a married couple is genuine. You’ll love each other more than you ever have had imagined, and you’ll also despise each other at times just like in dating.
You must be the exact representation of what you desire in marriage. If you want to be loved, be a decent lover with no strings attached.
In this blog, you will come to know why dating the person before you marry, is important. So, without any ado let’s get started.
Why dating is important in marriage?
Before I sat to write today, I went to the mall for purchasing a pair of shoes; I liked six different shoes but unfortunately, only two were of my fit when I tried them. The one which I loved was half an inch small and uncomfortable so halfheartedly I had to buy the other one (I needed it urgently). After I returned home, I realised how comfortable they were, It didn’t bite, it didn’t make my heel hurt (my feet are delicate so everything hurts if I wear them for more than 3-4 hours). This made me think if I wouldn’t have tried the one I loved, I’d have been stuck with the wrong fit.
You must be wondering why I’m telling you about what happened to me, I’m telling you because it’s the same for marriage.
If you don’t date a person before marrying, you might get stuck with the wrong person for many years or the rest of your life. This thing happens in arranged marriages.
When you date a person, you come to know them, their choices, their habits, their behaviour and most of all, their approach towards you. I agree dating is not always the solution to know the person better because you never know they might change in future. In the introduction itself, I wrote, “The amount of time we spend with someone has no link to how well we know them.”
Following are some reasons enough compelling to let you know the importance of dating before marriage:
- You get to know if he/she is right for you.
- You both build understanding. Share your past and know their past.
- If the person has some bad habits which you do not like, you can quit the relationship and find someone else.
- Date the person for at least one and a half years before considering marrying them. You realise how you will be treated: good or bad.
- Their mindset and perspective towards things matter more in the long term so it is important to know it. When you date, you come to know about it.
- You come to know if the person is sexually compatible or not.
- Their habits are revealed, if not 100% then at least 70%. Which is enough for you to decide if the person is the right fit or not.
- Unfortunately, marriage is not something that individuals look forward to, but rather something that they try to avoid! And it is important to know if the person you are marrying will respect the relation or not.
Why date other people before marrying one?
Well, the answer is precise that you come to know what you exactly deserve.
When you date different people you come to how people are what you like and dislike in a person. Do you know that girls reject men more than men reject girls? This is because girls have come across many men and know what they deserve.
We are in the 21st century and there’s no shame in trying the shoes before purchasing them. This saves your time, energy and keeps your mental health blooming.
But remember to tell about your past to the one you are looking forward to marrying. You should be proud of yourself for not keeping anything to yourself, regardless of how your spouse reacts to your decision to share about your former sex life. There will be no guilt feelings after marriage, and there will be no continual fear of what will happen if your spouse finds out.
When is the right time to find a life partner?
The ideal age for getting married appears to be between the ages of 20 and 30, with the lower end for girls and the upper end for boys. Both society and biology conspire against us, forcing us to accept the one that is currently offered.
When you have inner peace, it is the best moment to find a life companion. When you’re at peace with yourself, it’s easier to make important decisions. You’ll wind up with a chauffeur or a cook if you look for a life partner based on your current mood!
How to know if he/she is The One?
According to psychologist research, the right person creates a kind of heart Trikonasana: touching all three points of the love triangle which is intimacy, passion and commitment.
Any romance is propelled forward by passion. Commitment takes time to develop, but it is necessary to get over the first few fights. When it comes to picking a life partner, the initial attraction is driven by passion or chemistry.
Over time, this will dissipate, but the intimacy will grow. Deepening intimacy is marked by the ability to listen intently to each other, create shared ideals, and communicate and comprehend each other’s needs.
What to look for when choosing a life partner?
Look for a mate who is socially responsible, respectful, and emotionally supportive, according to psychologists. The girl is looking for a caring boy that is willing to help around the house.
The boy desires a girl who is well-educated and capable of pitching in and assisting with all of life’s hopes and objectives in today’s world.
Someone who is willing to help someone else in need will undoubtedly aid you.
Why should one set boundaries in marriage like in dating?
Let’s accept we all are huge fans of intimacy. It’s fun, it makes you feel good about yourself, and it’s a means of communication and connection between your better half and you.
But if you don’t set limits, sex with your husband will become something you have to endure rather than something you enjoy.
But most of all, it would devastate a source of joy, turning it into a source of pain. Thus, it’s important to set boundaries in marriage just like you did when you used to date.