eharmony first message examples

The initial online dating conversation is crucial since it establishes the tone for the rest of the relationship. Writing a nice first message allows you to express yourself, which is even more important online. You don’t have the benefit of physical chemistry like you would in real life. 

If you want to make a good first impression, you only have one shot. This is why it’s critical to treat your initial message with the same care and attention as you would when asking someone out in person. Don’t be afraid to be bold, or even flirting because why would you be afraid? after all, you are there to interact and find your date. 

eharmony is an excellent site to meet people who are interested in having a genuine online dating chat. In this article, you will find how you need to send your first message on eHarmony. 

How to send your first eHarmony message?

Here are some pointers on how to break the ice and make contact:


“The media is the message,” someone once said. While no one expects a message containing solely SAT vocabulary, double-check your message before sending to ensure that your love intentions aren’t jeopardised by misspellings or typos.


Who likes long messages when talking with someone for the first time? Making sure you don’t bore your match is better than being ghosted by them! Keep your messages short and simple, enough to make your first impression good.


You are not in the dating pool to flex the number of people you have dated. I won’t say it is wrong, but it is not right; it’s critical not to make any potential dates feel that way. There’s nothing wrong with sending out similar messages, but make sure they’re well-written.


Instead of sending texts to as many people as possible, you want your prospective matches to know that you’re interested in them. Include a couple of details from their dating profile or picture to show that you’re interested in learning more about them. 


Although healthy flirt is expected on dating platforms, talking too much about yourself, especially in a first online dating message, can be off-putting. While praise is always appreciated, make it light-hearted; you would not want to sound desperate. If your match overpraises you, you will surely feel like they are trying to get you and it is most of the time annoying. Ladies do understand this well but men need to understand this too.


Make sure you know what you want before you send your first online dating message. Is it something important, concrete, and long-term? The more you know about yourself, the more you can adapt your messages and the more likely you are to achieve a positive reaction.


Your first online dating message should not be about her looks or how attractive she is, especially when texting women — this is a significant online dating red flag. Also, unless specifically requested, please do not send any images.


It’s easy to become so preoccupied with coming up with the ideal thing to say that you don’t say anything at all. It’s fine to just say what’s on your mind every now and again; who knows, it might make for a humorous anecdote years later.


This will demonstrate to the other person that you are not just paying attention, but that you are also truly interested in what they have to say. The more enthusiastic you are, the more likely they are to open up.


After all, you’re on a dating website. Once you’ve established initial contact, consider cranking up the heat a notch in your communications to each other and see where it takes you. I recommend that you switch to voice or video. While text messages are great, low-pressure way to initiate an online dating chat, they may quickly become tedious. A phone or video call not only allows you to communicate in real-time, but it’s also a nice approach to advance your relationship.

eHarmony first message examples

What’s the best way to start a message to someone who could be your soulmate? For the all-important initial message, Jo Middleton has come up with a few possibilities. You should be aware that these are merely suggestions, and you’ll want to personalise them – after all, you never know if your crush has seen this page as well. There are many ways to start your conversation with your eHarmony match, some suggestions are:

  1. Making a remark about someone’s pet is a wonderful approach to start a conversation:

“Hello, there!” I love golden cats? I adore [breed] as well! “Did you know I have the same cat?” 

“I enjoy going to movie theatres with my dog — have you visited since the renovation?”

“Hey, Monika, until our pets are pals, we can’t date, right? Would you like to go on a doggy date?”

  1. If her bio mentions that she enjoys reading, martial arts, or chess, then writing that first online dating message is a breeze:

“Hey, Carly…” To you, what does a great afternoon entail? “Can I come along if it involves a bookshop crawl?”

You might also ask for details in a fun manner if her profile doesn’t offer you much to go on:

“Hey Teresa, tell me something unexpected about yourself.”

“Hey Amy, tell me of a Disney film that you could watch a hundred times and never get tired of?”

  1. If putting yourself out there is too scary, instead of the standard initial online dating message, try breaking the ice with a lighthearted or even crazy question:

“Hey, Sandy! Would you rather be Superhero or X – men?”

“Peter, would you rather live somewhere where it’s always winter or always summer?”

“Hello, Rajesh – “Would you like to live in the city or on top of a hill?” 

The bottom line

With your online dating message, make the first move. If putting oneself forward is too scary, try a light-hearted question to break the ice.

 People enjoy talking about themselves, so asking about their hobbies or interests is a fantastic way to start a conversation.

The more enthusiastic you are, the more likely they are to open up. Don’t overthink things; in an online dating match, it’s fine to just say what’s on your mind.

I hope this was helpful.

Leave a Comment