How to talk about relationships without talking about relationships

A relationship is a vast term to use for a bond that has just been formed. To title your bond as a “relationship” I would suggest you take at least one year for it.

In my previous blog, I have told you about the different goals a person has when dating someone, some wants a long term relation whereas some are looking for casual.

To know whether or not the person is willing to be in a relationship there are methods to bring up the relationship discussion without bringing it up overtly. I understand it may seem odd if you ask directly and that’s okay to feel. I am writing to help you out.

Before we start, I want you to get familiar with the answers you might get.

What can I expect as an answer when I ask whats the goal of dating me?

Every human is different, so are their thinking. It’s not about right or wrong, but about the variety of answers/perspectives. When you ask your date about the goal of dating you, there are a few answers you can expect:

  1. “I am dating to explore different people”.
  2. “I want an intimate relationship for some time”.
  3. “I am dating just for fun”.
  4. “I want a casual partner”
  5. “I am dating to overcome my loneliness”.
  6. “I’m not sure what I seek as of now”.
  7. “I want a long-term relationship and want to end up being together forever”.

Questions to ask before starting to indirectly ask about your relationship

  1. Do you think people should be in relationship if date worked?
  2. Do you think flirting is unethical?
  3. Do you intend to settle down someday?
  4. What did your parents teach you about relationships?
  5. Tell me about a couple you know who has the healthiest relationship you’ve ever seen.
  6. In a relationship, what is one thing that will make or break you?
  7. What have you taken away from previous relationships?
  8. When did you realise you were head over heels in love with me?
  9. What were your initial thoughts on me?
  10. What can I do in our relationship to make you feel more loved?
  11. Why did you dated me?

How to talk about relationships without talking about relationships?

  1. Talk about a romantic movie

When you will describe a scene and the happy ending of it, your partner’s reaction will tell you their intentions whether or not they want a relationship with you.

  1. Discuss LOVE as a divine feeling

These days people have lost the true meaning of the word LOVE. While discussing it, you and your partner will be more open about what is the goal of dating. You will end up discussing the relationship without directly talking about it.

  1. Talk about earlier experiences of commitment

They’ll change the subject if they don’t like it, and you may know if they are looking forward to a commitment with you or merely spending time. If they start talking to you about their relationships in return, it’s the ideal time to bring the subject up again.

  1. Talk about an ideal goal of dating

If nothing works then this will. When you will insist on the conversation on the goal of dating then your partner can’t escape it and has to answer it. Which will gradually lead them to express what they feel about the relationship.

Is it okay to ask where your relationship stand?

It’s very normal to want to know where your relationship stands if you’ve been hanging out for a while. Be sure of your own feelings and ask the question directly but if you are hesitant to ask directly, which is okay, you can take help of the above mentioned.

If you’re not sure what you’re feeling right now, don’t jump to any conclusion. Be sure about your feelings first.

How to know if a guy wants a relationship?

If a man is serious about you, he would go out of his way to take you to nice places and spend time with you. If he aligns his goals with yours, he’s serious; if not, he’s a whimper. Remember, not every guy who buys you supper is looking for a partner. 

He probably sees you as more than just some gorgeous female he hangs out with if he offers you jewellery on the spur of the moment. He becomes protective of you in a non-misogynistic way. He’ll not only keep an eye out for evil guys, but he’ll also show you how to use a baseball bat and or defend yourself with bare hands just in case he’s not there to protect you.

The bottom line: Pay attention to the relationship’s (or potential relationship’s) language. It’s also fine if you’re content with hooking up or being together whenever the mood strikes.

But making things clear at the right time is better than going through a heartbreak.

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